i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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