week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
