I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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