tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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