Swine flu. Run for my life!
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Randomize
