i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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