I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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