I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
