Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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