Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
