I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
This house was built for laser tag.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
