you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
