"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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