yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
