Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I did not marry a roomba.
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