You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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