she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i just google imaged poop.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
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