I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
