you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
