So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
