god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
