well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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