Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
