dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
