I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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