if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
