I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
