Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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