I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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