scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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