Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
