Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
