How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
