Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
