so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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