I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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