"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
