They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
