u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
