remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Semen is not good for contacts.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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