yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
