sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
