Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
