I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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