Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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