You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
