used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
