This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
