Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
