Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
